Feeling Feverish. I’m a first time mom, and when my infant son didn’t seem like he was feeling well, I mustered up the courage to take his temperature, anally. I read an infant book before I attempted to proceed. Here goes: Lay infant on back bare bottomed on pillow facing you. Extend feet up and gently insert thermometer. I followed the directions precisely; however, the book never mentioned that the thermometer acted like an instant suppository. As soon as I inserted out came the “chocolate soft serve,” all over the pillow and sheets. I picked up baby with pillow and held them at arms distance for clean up in the bathroom — yuck!! –Teaneck, NJ

Don’t Lick. One day we had hot dogs with mustard for lunch. Afterwards as I was getting ready to change my daughter’s diaper, I saw a spot on my hand that resembled mustard. Not thinking, I licked. It was NOT mustard. I learned very quickly what it was when I opened my daughter’s diaper. Another morning, I awoke after too little sleep and went to brush my teeth. I opened the tube and put what I though was toothpaste on my brush and brought it to my mouth. Luckily, I smelled it just before putting it into my mouth and realized that it was the diaper rash cream. Now I have coffee before I brush, and I never lick anything off my hands! –Alamogordo, NM

Potty Seat. My 19 month old started showing interest in going to the potty. He would head to the bathroom shouting out, “Momma pee pee.” So, I went up to the attic and found the little potty chair and brought it down. I must say that it fascinates him…. but as a purse. He carries the actual chair all over the house from room to room. Better yet, he removes the basin and screams, “Pee pee!” and then throws it into my toilet any chance that he gets. Ah the joys of potty training. –Atlanta, GA

Flushed Away. My two children and I were traveling alone by car to celebrate my grandmother’s 80th birthday. What should have been a three-hour drive turned into a five-hour drive due to very heavy traffic. Within 20 minutes of our destination, my 3-year-old daughter announced that she really had to go potty and couldn’t wait. I wasn’t that surprised. I drove into the nearest McDonalds, grabbed the kids and headed in — leaving coats, cell phones, pocketbook and diaper bag in the locked car. I put my keys in the back pocket of my jeans and in we went. We used the handicap stall so there would be enough room for all of us, and to give the kids a chance to stretch their little legs. As I assisted my daughter on the potty my 18-month-old son was running around in good spirits and then started playing with the flusher. Everybody was a having a good laugh, so infectious that the woman in the next stall was laughing and commented on how good natured the kids were! After washing hands I reached for the keys in my back pocket… GONE! I turned around just in time to see the last flush. The look on my son’s face explained it all — he had flushed them down the toilet! They were gone. My daughter asked if they had gone to the ocean. My son promptly loaded his already full diaper with poop as we waited another two hours for AAA to come and make us new keys! –Franconia, NH

There is a certain kind of embarrassment that only a Mom can truly understand. Our MomMoments column is filled with these war stories of motherhood. We’d love to hear your stories so please share with us!