I Swear. My husband sometimes slips with colorful language around the kids. I didn’t realize how often until a neighbor came over one day and was chatting with us, including my 3-year-old son. She said something like, “Thank God that turned out OK.” My son, hearing the conversation said, “God? Like God Dammit?” My husband promised once again to watch his language around the little ones. They really do repeat everything they hear!
– Macomb, MI

Sleep in Peace. One Sunday we where in church, my two-year-old daughter had been quietly busy with her toys, colored a picture, had a snack and been relatively well behaved for 35-40 minutes. She began to get tired just before the homily and put her head on my lap. Brother John, just home from a trip to South America started to talk about his trip and everyone settled in to listen. My daughter wiggled around and said in a very loud whisper, “Mommy, tell that man to be quiet. I am trying to sleep.” I had to struggle to not burst in to laughter as several people gave us the send-to-Siberia look, but several parents next to us just smiled.
– Greenbelt, MD

Miracle of Birth. I found myself and my children (ages two and three standing in front of the Miracle of Birth exhibit at our local state fair. Now this was a very busy opening day with lots of promises from the staff that there was sure to be several deliveries of little lambs, calves, and even piglets. Before I could really decide if the children were old enough to experience such a fascinating but yucky (as my son would say event, we were more or less forced by the crowd around us to commit. Under pressure, I surrendered. We slowly climbed to the top of the bleachers, which, by the way, were the only seats left. One of the staff members spoke into the microphone in a very hushed manner and proceeded to tell us that the sheep was going to be delivering very soon. She said, “In order for her to do this, we have to be very very quiet.” As a mom that is prepared for anything, I gave my little darlings each a toy and hoped that they would respect the sheep’s wishes. The sheep started to give birth, and suddenly I realized all three of my children were standing up, eyes glued to the sheep. The toys dropped out of their hands. Before I could get them settled again, my son shouted in his great outside voice, “MOM DID I COME OUT OF YOUR BUTT LIKE THAT?” The crowd roared with laughter. I couldn’t escape at all. I realized that day that, in fact, I wasn’t prepared for anything.
– Farmington Hills, Michigan

There is a certain kind of embarrassment that only a Mom can truly understand. Our MomMoments column is filled with these war stories of motherhood. We’d love to hear your stories so please share with us!