Probably one of the most frustrating words a toddler ever learns is “Why?” Right up there behind “No,” those little inquisitive minds are apt to overuse this expression. With the holiday season upon us, get ready for a whole new round of inquiries — Why don’t we always have a tree inside the house? Why do we hang stockings? Why don’t we light all the candles?

Be prepared for the fifth degree by spending a few minutes now to think through your family’s holiday traditions. Afterall, whatever the traditions you had growing up, now is a unique opportunity to start new ones or continue the old with your growing family.

No matter which holiday you celebrate, you’re sure to have memories that stand out, usually tied to some longstanding tradition. Maybe it’s eating dinner in eager anticipation of the night’s special gift, waking up super early on Christmas morning to see what Santa Claus left, or reading a special story together. Traditions are important because they set a pattern reminding us of feelings, beliefs and ideas. It’s amazing just how much of what we do is governed by traditions — the simple idea that gifts should be wrapped is itself a tradition.

What’s in a Tradition?

Whichever traditions you choose, the purpose is to create memories and pass along good things to the next generation. Of course there’s no perfect way to do it, your family’s traditions will adapt and change as each child embraces them in his or her own way. When deciding on which traditions to carry out in your family, think about the holiday meanings that are important to you and focus on activities that allow for quality family time.

One mom recalls a enlightening tradition her parents began when she was in high school. Her family would pile into the car on Christmas morning — after seeing what Santa had stashed in their stockings but before opening the rest of the presents — and drive downtown to help the Salvation Army’s meal deliveries to homebound elderly. This tradition taught them about love, service, and remembering others.

As you take a moment to consider what holiday traditions you want your children to learn and remember, here are a few brainstorming ideas from other families:

• Create the atmosphere – sites, smells, sounds and eats. They all seem to be part of the season. Have a family baking time. Play special holiday games together. Eat special holiday foods. Put up your Christmas tree and decorate it while listening to Bing Crosby croon “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” — even (or should we say especially if you live in Phoenix.
• Countdown to the day – use an advent calendar. Some come with special ornaments for the tree, or religious text, or a treat. Make your own countdown out of festive paper strips linked together in a chain — every day tear off a link until you reach the awaited day.
• Remember those in need – take time to think of others. Help your kids participate in the school’s food drive. Adopt a Salvation Army Christmas Angel (usually available through booths at local malls. Bake treats and take them to neighbors. Make, draw, or color cards and deliver them to a senior center or hospital.
• Spend some special family time together to prepare – Sing together — even off key. Watch a special movie or cartoon every year. Read special children’s books about your holiday. One mama suggested buying a new book each year and wrapping them like presents. After a few years there will be several different books to read on the days preceding the holiday.